BEATING THE MENTAL EFFECTS OF COVID-19

Uncertainty is unsettling. Restrictions to our daily lives, combined with isolation from our family and friends, can be very distressing. In addition many people have sadly lost a loved one to COVID-19 and will be experiencing unprecedented grief.

‘The only certainty now is that the uncertainty is set to continue.’

We all need support in these worrying times. So what can we do to help guide us through the assault course of emotions that many of us are experiencing at the moment? The Calm and Headspace Apps are both excellent tools to use, but here are some practical tips and coping strategies as set out by the BACP (British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy):

Keep a routine

Many people are working from home for the first time in their lives, and some will now be juggling a full-time job with home-schooling their children. And there are people whose usual activities have been curtailed by self-isolation. “Without a routine, negative thinking and anxiety can escalate. I would suggest that people create a day to day plan of things they will need to do, e.g. create a morning exercise programme, cook something different, get into an online course.”

Think about restricting access to news media and social media

This may involve choosing news sources you trust – and avoiding social media channels filled with speculation. Stick to the official government guidance and NHS advice websites. Or limit your access to the news to a certain time of the day.

Keep connected with friends and family

In our new world of self-isolation and social distancing, we can’t meet up with family and friends like we used to. But keeping connected to them is vital. “Connect online with friends and talk about other stuff, invent new fun ways to connect - an online pub quiz among friends...learn a dance routine at home then share it? Play games online?....”

Be present

“Take a breath and really experience where you are and how you are feeling. Take in your surroundings and thank the space/environment and people in your space - to actively be grateful is very powerful.”

Practise gratitude

Be grateful for what you have, instead of what you don’t have. Try keeping a gratitude diary, where you write down three things you are grateful for every day. "These can be small things such as the sun shining, hearing your child laugh, a home-cooked meal, a cosy bed. Think about the things you do have and are grateful for."

Try some breathing and relaxation techniques

Take a five-second breath in through the nose, hold that breath for five seconds and then breathe out for five seconds. Do this five times. Or try the STAR technique. Smile, take a (breath) and relax, breathing out longer than in, to override the fight and flight mechanism.

Write down your anxieties, and let them go

It can help to express anxieties in a way that you can control. That could be writing down what you feel, or keeping a journal. “Allow yourself to worry, put it down in writing in a notebook, and then put that away. Let it go.”

Get access to natural light

Lockdown may have limited your trips to parks and the countryside, but it's still important to get access to natural light. "Our exposure to natural light is limited at the moment, and this affects our serotonin and melatonin levels - both vital for our mental health.” Try sitting near windows and making home environments as light and airy as possible. If you're lucky enough to have a balcony or garden, use it regularly.

Look after your wellbeing

Make sure you are looking after yourself - doing what you can to help get a good night’s sleep, eating well and doing exercise. If we manage these three elements of our lives, it can help make us more robust against anxiety. Certain foods - such as walnuts, almonds or bananas - can help boost melatonin, and salmon, eggs and spinach are among the foods that can help boost serotonin. It’s also worth looking into Vitamin D supplements, a light therapy lamp and limiting blue light from phones or screens as it disrupts circadian rhythm.

Use all your senses

Use all your senses to notice where you are. You might want to notice five things you can see right now, five things you can hear right now, or any smells or tastes. “These can help us resist the well-worn neural pathways around catastrophising and feeling helpless.”

Positive thinking

At times, this may feel very difficult to do depending on your personal situation. But re-framing a negative situation into a positive one can be very helpful. “There are a lot of positives to be gained from this pandemic, which might not be apparent right now. We usually live at such a fast, frenetic pace and sometimes don't stop to think about what it's all about and where we are heading. This situation is forcing us to do that. And we will grow as a result of it.”

Ask for support

It’s not a sign of weakness to reach out and ask for support, it’s a sign of strength. Make a list of everyone you know, friends, family, colleagues, neighbours etc. Now tick the people on this list who can provide practical, psychological and moral support. Connect with them and sustain this support circle.

#MAKINGADIFFERENCE

British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy
Calm
Headspace

SUICIDE IS PAINLESS

Many of you will recognise these words as being from the theme tune to the TV series, M*A*S*H.

“...suicide is painless

It brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please...’

But of course nobody who is reading this can validate or disprove the statement that ‘suicide is painless’. In my experience of talking to people who have come close to it, the tragic probability is that most people who take their own lives don’t actually want to die. They just want the pain to go away.

“The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in

The pain grows stronger...watch it grin.”

The latest available key facts, as produced by Samaritans (who are the only organisation to collate suicide statistics for the UK and the Republic of Ireland), are:

• In 2017 there were 6,213 suicides in the UK and Republic of Ireland

• In the UK, men are three times as likely to take their own lives than women

• In the Republic of Ireland, men are four times more likely to take their own lives than women.

• In the UK, the highest suicide rate was for men aged 45-49.

• In the Republic of Ireland, the highest suicide rate was for men aged 25–34 (with an almost identical rate for men aged 45–54).

• In Northern Ireland, suicide rates for both men and women are higher than other UK nations – however rates are not necessarily directly comparable.

Have you ever thought about ending your life?

I have. And I suspect that a great many people reading this will have, at some time – even if just for a fleeting moment - considered the possibility. And it’s absolutely OK to have felt like that – it doesn’t make you a lesser person, or ‘damaged goods’. Life can be incredibly hard. The good news is that you are still here. Perhaps you found support in your family or friends, or you were brave enough to seek professional help.

Unfortunately there are an awful lot of people who don’t have that support, or courage, and who feel totally alone and desperate.

What can we do about it?

I think we can all be much more aware. If we open our eyes and our ears (and take time to look up from our smart phones and tablets), we might just be able to pick up on something that doesn’t feel right. Check-in with someone if you think they are struggling, even if it’s just by sending them a simple text message. Let them know you’re there for them. And remember that people who talk openly about suicide are not seeking attention – they are crying out for help to relieve their pain.

Mental health can be as debilitating as a physical ailment, even more so. If someone had a broken leg, you wouldn’t expect them to limp along and just wait until it healed itself. Often that’s the attitude towards mental health issues. If you, or anyone you know, is in mental distress, please don’t suffer in silence. A problem shared, IS a problem halved. Talking to someone about your problems doesn’t necessarily fix everything, but it certainly makes them seem a lot more bearable and helps to take the pain away. We often can’t change the challenging facts in our lives, but we do have the option to change our perspective about our situation – and we can encourage others to do the same.

Imagine what a difference we could make

if we all improved our awareness - not only of the people in our own lives, but of people beyond that circle. Perhaps noticing someone standing alone on a station platform, but repeatedly not getting on a train. Or someone leaning over the railings of a bridge. Or someone standing on a beach looking out to sea.

Kindness can have a dramatic ripple effect and, in some cases, it can literally be life-changing. The great Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, spoke about the need for empathy and understanding:

“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.”

So perhaps we all need to be more conscientious ‘Gardeners’, for our sake and for the sake of others, in our lives and beyond. Nurture your personal ‘allotment’ and watch as it flourishes and encourages the neighbouring ‘allotments’ to do the same.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It is only greener where we choose to water it.

If you are struggling and need support please contact me

#makingadifference

Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Call 116 123 (free from any phone), or email jo@samaritans.org.